The «nesting» method is one of the most effective methods for establishing breastfeeding, when working to increase the amount of milk, during lactation crises, when anxiety in the breast, etc.
The essence of the method lies in the fact that while working according to the method, we try to ensure maximum contact between the mother and the child, building a strong connection between them, as well as limit the child from stress and irritation, and create conditions for comfortable breastfeeding.
The working time according to the method is determined individually for each dyad and, as a rule, is about 1-2 weeks.
It is not always possible to use this method in all its power, especially when there are older children. Nevertheless, when the above situations arise, it makes sense to take it into service and try to adapt it to a specific mother-child dyad. In this article, we will consider the first 4 points of this method.
Constant wearing on hands
Breastfeeding is a continuation of the unity with the mother that the child experienced while in her tummy. This means that the first thing a mother needs to do to establish or restore lactation is to restore the same continuous and close contact with the baby, as during pregnancy. Carrying on the arms will provide better connection, as the baby will feel the mother’s warmth and chest contractions during breathing, hear her heartbeat. In addition, being in the womb, the baby is accustomed to the restriction of freedom, and the restriction in the form of the mother’s hands will help him return to the sensations that were in the womb. It is impossible to achieve such an effect in a crib or stroller, therefore, before the baby returns to the breast, he must return from the crib and stroller to his mother’s arms. Again, when worn on hands, the chest will always be near,
The constant stay of the child in the arms of the mother has a beneficial effect on his physical development. He trains his muscles and vestibular apparatus, since his mother herself is constantly in motion. In addition, carrying a baby in your arms has a beneficial effect on his psychological state. It has been proven that children who are carried in their arms and in sling spend 2 times less time crying than their peers, whose wearing is limited for one reason or another.
For a child older than 3-4 months, constant carrying in his arms may not be so relevant, since he already wants to roll over and learn to crawl, sit, walk. However, for such a child, unity with the mother, continuous close contact means a lot, which means that at this age it is important for the baby to always be with his mother, to feel her support.
For a mother, such close contact is also important — she receives an inexhaustible source of oxytocin (which promotes the outflow of milk), learns to better understand her child, his desires and the signals he sends, which allows her to instantly react to them exactly as the child needs. It is very important to react quickly to a child’s cues, because children have absolutely no sense of time, and a delay of a few minutes may seem like an eternity to them. And if a baby, for example, asks for a breast, but it is not given, he may “take offense” at the mother and her breast, which will cause anxiety in the breast.
If anxiety at the breast already occurs, carrying it in your arms and close contact with the baby, constant monitoring of his actions and signals will help to choose the moment when it is better to unobtrusively try to attach the baby to the breast. In addition, when worn on hands, the breast will always be near the child — it will remind of itself.
Do not give a child in arms to anyone, only mom holds
It so happens that one of the relatives takes on the role of a mother and constantly entertains the baby, responds to his signals, taking away from the mother and acting ahead of the curve. In such a situation, the child may become confused and begin to take with great pleasure, for example, a bottle from his grandmother, and not his mother’s breast.
In addition, for 9 months in the womb, the child got used to the mother’s rhythm of movements, her smooth swaying when she got up and walked, her heartbeat, her voice, which is why it is mother’s hands that are so important in order to remember the sensations that were in the womb and return to oneness with mom.
It is the mother who should be able to respond to any child’s needs, quickly and sensitively recognize them. The calming ritual should also be associated with mom. If the child realizes that it is in his mother’s arms that he feels good, calm and safe, then there will be no problems either with breastfeeding or with relationships in general, since such a close and close mother will not offer anything bad.
In addition, other adults may miss the child’s signals, incl. his desire to kiss his breast, can entertain, distract, rock and put him to bed instead of giving him to mom to feed. At the same time, the mother is better able to distinguish the signals of the child and can react to them faster and correctly. This moment is very important both in the formation of lactation and work on increasing milk (the mother can put the baby to the breast at the first signs of readiness to suck), and with anxiety at the breast (the mother learns to better understand the signals of her baby, satisfy his needs, can pick up the moment when it is better to attach the baby to the breast, for example, if he sees that the baby begins to fall asleep).
All child care is provided by mom
The very concept of «caring for a child» implies that certain needs of the child will be met, and an answer will be received to his signals, ie. he is much better after the care measures than he was before. And the source of this is mom. Mom is always there and will always help, calm, empathize, even if she is forced to do something unpleasant.
In addition, babies are very conservative and need a familiar order of events, so it is important for them to know that it is the mother who will come to the signal for help — this also helps to maintain unity.
If it is difficult for a mother to do something or if there are unpleasant procedures that can be dispensed with while working according to the method, it is better to shorten such procedures or postpone for several days.
When dealing with unpleasant procedures, it should be noted that the mother feels and knows her child better than anyone else, so it is easier for her to adjust the care in accordance with the child’s expectations. The kid is less worried about unpleasant procedures if they are carried out by the mother, because he trusts her and knows that his mother only wishes him well.
Washing the child, changing his diaper, changing him, etc., the mother strokes him, talks, smiles — all this is an additional opportunity for bodily contact and communication, the baby once again receives confirmation of what causes positive emotions in the mother. All this stimulates the development of the nervous system, trust in mom and in the world.
At the same time, if a mother with a smile gives the child to a stranger who does something unpleasant with him, the degree of the child’s trust in the mother can be greatly affected. The baby may «take offense» at the mother, which can become one of the reasons for the restless behavior at the breast, which means that it is especially important to exclude this moment when such behavior is already taking place.
By eliminating the interference of outsiders in caring for the child, the mother helps the baby to form an understanding that the mother will not betray, will not give it to a stranger who will do something unpleasant to him. As for pleasant procedures, all the more so, only the mother does, which gives the baby a pleasant experience, the source of which is the mother. All of this helps to enhance the closeness between the baby and the mother, which helps to overcome the abandonment of the breast when present.
As the mother and child themselves do not make visits, they also reduce the reception of guests and specialists at home as much as possible. Strangers are additional emotions (and not always positive) and stress, which clearly does not contribute to the return to the pleasant world of the womb and the unity of mother and child.
The kid loses peace and quiet, the usual rhythm of the day, lifestyle, and since children are very conservative, this can upset him.
In addition, by paying attention to the guests, the mother is distracted from communicating with the child. The baby is deprived of mother’s attention, mother’s hands. The mother may not notice the child’s signals, incl. his desire to kiss his chest. If this circumstance manifests itself often enough, the baby may «take offense» at both the mother and her breast. And he will show this offense just by resisting his mother’s attempts to feed him with breast milk — anxiety at the breast. Therefore, even if for a long time the mother and child led an active social life and believed that the baby liked it, it cannot be ruled out that this became a cause of concern after a while. The exclusion of visits will help the mother to devote more time to the child, to communicate with him, to respond in the usual manner to his expectations. This will help to strengthen the closeness of mother and child, to better understand his feelings, desires, needs, not to miss the moment,
Other principles of the nesting method will be discussed in the next article .